Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Mystery of the Disappearing Condom

Today's title doesn't have a whole lot to do with the post. I just thought it sounded mildly clever. (Though I really am curious as to where that condom went. I just hope the dog doesn't find it and parade it around the house like he does with my socks.)

So, let me catch you guys up with what I've been doing with my life! For one thing, I'm back in school (although for all you guys know based on my posts, summer could have never happened for me) and my schedule is almost more than I can handle. Mostly because I'm still a procrastinator. But it is to the point where I don't even have enough spare time for my favorite forms of procrastination! (Hence the lack of posts, even though I said I'd post stuff. I'm a big fat liar; I know.)

Thanks to my current classes, I'm discovering that I'm super interested in biology, and super not interested in criminology. I'm also doing two different undergrad research assistant thingies, totaling fifteen hours of extra work a week. From these I have learned that I'm still no good at managing my time, observing animals at the zoo is boring, and November is really cold, especially when you don't have gloves.

Also, I got a job. My mom was on craigslist looking for a job for her, and she saw that the pizza place she worked at when she was my age was hiring a server. Clearly wanting to relive her youth through me, she screeched "You should apply for this job!" and I was like, "Huh? Money? Okay. Help me write up a resume." After we'd written and I'd dropped off my resume, the manager ended up calling me at 9 p.m. and asked if I could come in for my interview right then. I was downtown with a friend at a movie premier at the time, but I was like, "Fuck it. Sure. I'll get on a bus now and be there in forty minutes." Anyway, I ended up beating out 200 other applicants for a job I wasn't looking for. Now I work Thursday through Sunday evenings, which boils down to "I have no weekend and I hate everyone." But hey; money.

And as if work and school aren't enough to occupy my time, I recently decided that I'm fed up with being single. So I did what any self-respecting, modern-day girl would do: I joined an online dating site. (I'm so terribly pathetic and lonely... Don't judge me!) It's going surprisingly well, actually (if the condom thing didn't clue you in). I feel that I have maintained my dignity by having refused all requests for naked pics (though there was that cybering incident. And I did let that one guy talk me into a Skype encounter...), and I just had a third date with a really cool chem-major who goes to my school and is recovering from black mold toxicity (he left more marks than I expected. I think if I can learn to deal with a little biting during sex, I have boyfriend material on my hands. I am a little concerned for my nipples though).

Well, I don't know where I was going with this (possibly just complaining about my schedule?), but I think that's about it.

note: It's kind of cool how, if you exclude everything inside parentheses in this post, I almost don't sound like a terrible person. Go me! ...I sort of wish I'd stayed anonymous and not told any of my friends about my blog so I could say whatever I want without feeling like I'm being judged. But fuck you guys! You'd better love me no matter what! And this definitely falls under the category of sleep-deprived ranting. I apologize to everyone who reads this, or anything else written by me, ever.

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